Anonymous said: I hope you will wake up again, and continue to live life (if your rant was aimed at people including you?) because you are beautiful, did you know that? I wish i could be as pretty as you!

I hope i will too but it’s begun to take control and idk what to do. Yes the depression part was aiming towards me the koking part no..i dont joke about shit like that.

Thank you tho:) Im not that pretty but thanks:)

Depression rant..

People don’t understand that depression isn’t just feeling upset here and there. It’s not when you cry for a couple nights but then you’re fine the next day. Depression is when you feel like you can’t get any lower. Like you’re trapt in this hole and you can’t find a way to escape so you’re sitting there suffocating. It’s where everytime you smile there’s a knife digging into your chest and everytime you laugh it’s like there’s glass stabbing you. Depression doesn’t want you to be happy. When it tastes happiness it screams and fights against you, telling you that it’s all a lie and that none of it is real. It feels like there’s a demon inside of you screaming nasty words and the only way to get rid of that shit is to cut, drink, smoke, get high etc. It’s not something you get over in 2 days not even 2 years. It holds on for life. You’ll never escape it. And when you think you have it comes crawling right back. It likes to tease you. Make you feel like you’re all better and then BAM! it comes out to play again.  It’s basically like living in hell. You’re screaming in agony and it feeds off of it. No one hears you, no one sees what it’s doing, how much it’s changed you, how low you’ve become. No one knows but you and that little fucking monster inside of you. Depression makes you get to a point where living seems like it is taking all of your energy. It makes you think that no one cares and no one ever will. It tells you that you’re better off putting a gun to your head and blowing out your fucking brains and rotting in a hole for eternity. It is the worst feeling ever.

So don’t joke and say “oh yeah I suffer from depression” when you’re really not because there are people around you that really are. It’s a serious fucking deal and it’s not supposed to be taken lightly. So stop with the fucking jokes because one day that person won’t wake up again because they’ve finally had enough.

#depression  #suicide  #self harm  #rant  #shit  #what am i talking about